Raised to the Power of Why
I want to forcibly rip my brain out of my skull and throw it onto the floor. Why? Because I feel so goddamn terrible all the time. Why? Because I’m not taking care of myself properly. Why? Because I’m ignoring the obligations in my life. Why? Because I don’t want to fail and disappoint the people around me. Why? Because I don’t want to be seen as a failure. Why? Because… I’m scared. Why? I… don’t know.
You want to forcibly rip your brain out of your skull because you feel so terrible because you haven’t been taking care of yourself because you’re ignoring your obligation because you don’t want to fail and disappoint anyone because you’re scared of being seen as a failure?
Yes.
Maybe I don’t want to rip my brain out of my skull. Maybe that’s a bit harsh. Why’s that? Because the emotion felt so intense in the moment. How come? Because I didn’t take the time to just process it. Why?
Because that would mean doing the things I’ve been ignoring.
What’s stopping you from starting? Myself. What about the people you don’t want to disappoint? I guess… they don’t matter.
So is it really yourself or just your-? My mind.
Why would you not start? I’ve already told you. And how do these feelings feel now? Trivial. So… what’s stopping you?
Nothing.
So then should you start it?
…Why not?