Bandaid on a Bullet Wound, Ver. 1
an awkward encounter on the street between two friends, and a voyeuristic little worm
[oh… looky who it is. you remember her, right? she's been pushing you away. maybe you need to give her another. go on, I’ve got the dusty old manual right in my hands. i’ll be right here, guiding you along]
Oh! Fancy seeing you here…
[her response is likely going to match your awkward energy. she’s just as shy as you are, you’re going to have to come up with something to say here. make it unique. make it stand out.]
So, what’ve you been up to lately?
[congratulations on shooting your, what is it, third chance of something happening here in the foot, you absolute imbecile]
Oh yeah.
[oh yeah? oh yeah? did you even listen to what she said, or what, am i being too loud for that? where’s the follow up question? you’re just gonna let yourself stand there twiddling your thumbs?]
Hey, I was wondering… if you wanted to…
[say it!]
Nevermind. I’ll see you around.
[… pussy]
… Wait! I just wanted to say… I’m truly sorry for that message I sent you a couple months back. It was so shitty of me to say something like that, when you already told me where we stand, and I can’t imagine how you must have felt. I’m in a much better place now than I was then, I’m seeking the help that I’ve been denying myself from for years. It’s taken hurting innocent, kind people like you for me to realise who I’ve become, and I’m not going to let it go on any longer. You’ve always been a friend to me, ever since we were young. I need to start treating you like a friend too. I just want you to know that I care about you. But as a person, as a fellow human who struggles and has complex emotions and thoughts. I see that in you now, as I always should have. You deserve a better friend, and I hope I can show up for you in that way from here on out.
[i... what in the world was that? you’ve ruined our one chance at making this a thing. i know the way you look at her, I know you want her, and don’t even try to pretend you don’t. what makes you think all this moralising is going to change anything?]
…
[you know what? i’m done helping you. i hope that hand feels reallllly nice tonight, and for the rest of your miserable existence life. you know… you’ll never replace that feeling that girl gave you, you know that right? every attempt at substitution has left you lonelier than the last. you’re alone, and it’s all your fault. what a shame, you really lost your nerve after that one time, didn’t you? serves you right.]
if i could pinpoint the exact location of this parasite inside my brain, i would fire lead straight through and obliterate it myself